I had someone tell me that I must not love my daughter enough because of the trouble I am currently having with her. Maybe I had not spent enough time with her. I did not take this personally because this person does not know me, or her and they have not true idea of just how much I love my daughter. Of course I love her, with all my heart and soul. And as for spending time with her, I have spent more quality time with her than most people do with their children. But again, I did not take it personally as they do not know me or what I am about. I use this "blog" as a place to show the world my pictures as well as a place to put my thoughts when I need to speak out about something. But I now feel it is no longer appropiate to put my heartbreaking feelings here. I criticized someone once for their decision when I did not even know them, just what they wrote on their journal and I now realize that was wrong of me. We should not speak of things we really know nothing about, such as what the woman was feeling when I criticized her for her choice, just as someone that is judging my relationship with my daughter based upon a few words I have written down. I think many people write down their thoughts in this type of forum as they are just wanting a little support, not to be hurt. To judge without really haveing spent time with that person is very wrong. This experience has taught me a valuable lesson.
Tam came home today!! It has been 2 months to the day since she was admitted. It has been tooooooo long! I just want her to take it easy and finish healing. After that, we have some going to do! Garage sales, picnics, and thrift shops, all are waiting for us. I am so happy. On another note, I am not happy about my daughter being gone. My parents home was robbed yesterday and we all know it was her. she has been gone a week come tomorrow and now she is wanted for breaking and entering. I just have to accept that not everyone has children that turn out the way we want them to, no matter how hard we try to teach them right from wrong.
It has been quite awhile since I last posted (Nov 20th) and then they have been few and far between. I am so tired. I am wearing down. Tam is still in the hospital but she should be home by next Tuesday. Finally. It has been two months since she went into the hospital and over three months that she has been on some kind of bedrest. In that time, she has nearly died, had a stroke (suffering some paralysis on her left side) and bounced back with alot of life and vigor. I love her so much, I just want her to heal so we can build our life together we have been dreaming of. I need to rest as all I do is work and visit her. In my small amount of time at home I wash dishes and try as best as I can to get our apartment organized. My daughter is still pulling stunts, like "borrowing" her grandparents car and skipping school. I know I am going to be fined for her truancy but I will tell the judge that if that is what will keep her in school, by all means fine me. But it won't matter, Jess is going to take off whenever she feels the need. This past Wednesday (Dec. 7th) was her 16th birthday. I had made plans for her and my parents to come up to the hospital and celebrate with Tam. Jess took off before my parents arrived at the apt. to pick her up and I have not seen her since. I hope she is ok. On another note, I have discovered another fascet to my photography. I have been scanning in some of my photos I have taken in the past and uploading them to my yahoo photo albums. Yahoo has partnered with Target so that you can order prints directly from Yahoo and have them printed at Target with their one-hour print service. I have been very impressed with the results. And the prices are very competitive with other services that require you to wait for the photos to be processed. This is one of the pictures I uploaded and had printed as an 8x10. I took this picture 4 1/2 years ago on my vacation to Utah. It is one of my favorites of all time. I have literally thousands of photos but in the past you had to mail off a negative if you wanted an enlargemet made. Now you simply scan in the print, touch up and upload. I have been sending my photos at night after I get home from the hospital around midnight. Then I just pick them up the next day after work. So simple. And larger prints always do better on the wall. Because of Tam's illness and lack of having a job because of said illness, we do not have much to spend on Christmas. I suggested we make pictures of ourselves for our families. We have very few pictures of us together. Really the only ones are from our wedding 3 1/2 years ago. She loved the idea so I have been practicing at touching up for printing purposes. She has been as impressed as I have been.