9.28.2004

Who has the right to tell someone else how they should feel? I pity "Kiki" because obviously if they don't believe in a soulmate, they have never had one, or did but was hurt by them. Tam was my soulmate. Since I got that cruel posting I have done much thinking and I have figured out that it isn't Tam that I miss so much as what I had with her that I miss. But unlike what Kiki is trying to say, I believe I will never have it again with someone else. Sure, I could find someone to do things with, have sex with, watch a movie with and on and on. But as long as I miss doing these things with Tam, then I have no interest in sharing with someone else. Where is it written that we have to be with someone? I can be lonely and happy at the same time. I miss companionship, but at the same time I finally have some goals and dreams and the pursuit of a new relationship would slow down the achievement of those goals and dreams. Also, I have a short window to finish raising my daughter to adulthood and that requires alot of focus. To enter into a new relationship at this time would also open myself up to disappointment and pain and that is something else I am just not ready to do. So to all the "Kiki's" out there, I do love Tam and I do miss her and what I had with her but I am not holding my life back because of that. If what was said is true, the more power to her. If I could be replaced so easily, then absolutely what we had was not what I thought we had. But it was wonderful for me and the memories are still fresh in my mind. We all move at different paces in life and I will move at mine. I make no apologies for, after 11 months, still having deep feelings for Tam. There are no rules that say I can't have them. My post was for me, not for others and no one has the right to tell me how to feel about something.

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