General going ons......

Not much today. Spent the night at the hospital with Tam. She was told that she would have an MRI this morning. What they did not tell us is that she would also have a CT scan right after. The medical staff has finally caught on to her extreme level of pain and they now prescribe enough medications that she is basically knocked out. So I did not get to spend much time with her today, time that she will remeber anyways. But I got to be there with her and did not have to hear her scream from the pain. For anyone that has had to stand at the side of a loved one while they scream in agony, they will know how I feel. For those that have not, I truly pray you never have to. I don't care how big and bad you are, when you can do nothing to relieve their hurt, it is a humbling, dejected feeling. All I can do is hold her hand, tell her to breathe, and pray. Monday, during her wound change, as I held her hands in mine, I closed my eyes and prayed for the Lord to take her pain and pull it from her and send it to me. Let it flow from her hands and into me through my arms. I think it did as shortly afterward my back started to hurt. Now it always does that when I am leaning over her as it is an awkward position. To me, that just means each time I am there for her wound change He is taking her pain and letting me have some of it. She is my hero and the toughest person I know. I draw strength from her. I also feel the need to take very good care of me because how can I take care of her if I am sick myself. The other day I was walking to my van and as I stepped over the curb I realized that I move pretty good for someone my age (41, my gosh I can't beleive it!!) and that I should not take that for granted. And I try not to.