"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" Humans are a weird kind of animal. So much of what we learn and react to is because of perception. I know I mentioned this before but I want to elaborate on it more now. I no longer want to be "right" or "wrong", I only want to agree or not agree and others to agree with me or not agree with me. See, it is all the same thing but it is the "perception" that matters. People do not like to admit when they are wrong about something and they do not like to be told they are wrong when they feel they are right. But truly there is no right or wrong, only each persons perception of the issue at hand. Dr. Phil stated as much in his book. He devoted a whole chapter to this topic and I am just expanding on it as to how I feel about the world around me. Here is a very simple, and really inconsequential, example yet it easily expresses just what I am talking about. The other day mother mentioned that she did not think the lid to a plastic bowl was the correct one. I informed her that it was as we had 2 identical bowls except one lid was white and the other was green. Today I found out that there was a 3rd bowl and it was not quite the same so the lid in fact did not fit on the bowl. Now it is easy enough to just say, "Mom, I was wrong and you were right, that lid did not fit that bowl". But in order for me to get into new, positive habits, I will tell her, "Mom, I agree with you, that lid indeed does go to a different bowl." See, by doing this, as a human I am able to admit I was wrong without actually telling her I was wrong. In most things in life it is not a bad thing to admit being wrong. But when something is serious and has the potential to leave hurt feelings, the way it is said can make all the difference. So, to form a habit of doing it a certain way, it should always be done that way. Looking back, Tam said she did not like the way I parented. Well, you know, I have only been a parent to one child of my own and she is not 19 as of yet (the age of Tam's daughter when all of this was going on) so each and every day is a new experience. It would not have been a bad thing for her to disagree with how I was doing things and compromise and negotiate a different tact. There is no right or wrong way but we do what we know until we do something different. It was her child we were discussing, she could have disagreed with me and told me what she wanted to try to do about the situation. I have been accused too many times of always needing to be right about anything and everything. Well, I agree with that assessment. I wanted to always be right and even if it was for the best of intentions, it was impractical to think this was a correct frame of mind. Animals are about communication and humans use many methods to communicate. I just feel if I communicate in a negative way, I will get negative responses (Dr. Phil, "You get what you give") and conversely if I communicate in a positive way I will get positive responses. Will this happen each and every time? No of course not, sometimes the person I am communicting with will be in a bad frame of mind and they will snap anyways. But then it is up to me to respond back in a positive way and it just might ease them a bit.