Change...

I find it interesting how we as a collective species are so much the same and yet so different. Some people find an indentity and it stays with them all of their lives. And others change, like a chameleon, often. I tend to fit into the chameleon side of humanity. While there are things about me that are part of who I am and will never change, there other parts that are ever evolving. I continually try to grow as a person and part of that growth includes trying new things.

One of the things I tend to change every few years is the style of my wardrobe. Now, I won't tell you I buy expensive clothes, I buy Walmart and Target, thrift stores (love them, I don't care what anybody thinks!) and walk the mall looking for a bargain. But as for my style, it evolves. Several years ago I was into simple T-shirts. Then, in '98 when I was married to my son's mother she had visions of changing my wardrobe and I was dressed "preppy" which really did not suit me. Then I started wearing short-sleeve button down "camp shirts" and khaki shorts. I thought this suited me well but when I returned to Texas from South Dakota, most of my clothes I had to leave behind in storage. Then, half of what I brought with me was lost by the bus company on the way here. So I had to start over again. This time I invested in blue jean shorts as they go with all colors of shirts and shoes. Needing some shirts, I bought "polo" type shirts that I found on sale and I was set for the summer.

When I hired on at my present employer I once again found myself wearing a company uniform. I have worn this type of attire for most of the past 10 years, so it was not a big deal for me. I usually have worn a long sleeve button down shirt and slacks, even in the summer. Why I wear long sleeves at work when I wear all manner of short sleeves away from work I cannot answer but I do. But lately I have been deciding I want to wear this type of shirt all the time. My body is of the "barrell-chested" type, so to speak and I have finally figured out that button down shirts are the most flattering for me. So I have now migrated to exclusively wearing button down, long sleeved shirts. Well almost exclusively. Since I have several "polo" type shirts I will wear them from time to time, especially in the cooler months underneath my long sleeve shirts. I have three such shirts and this weekend I am going shopping for more.

I feel this desire to dress nice (I have secret dreams of expensive blazers and cashmere sweaters) comes from my misguied belief during my youth that it did not matter how I dressed, a female would see past that and would like me for me. I now understand how that was one of several ideologies (?) that I was incorrect about. Now, twenty-something years later I am finally grasping that I don't have to dress expensively or even fancy to dress with some class. Another of life's lessons learned late but not too late.

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