10.09.2004

A thought...

It comes to mind that if Tam could replace me after a few months, and she expected me to replace her just as quickly, then she really did not understand the depth of my love for her. It means she does not know what it is to be loved by someone. But how does a person know that they are loved by someone with that special love? I mean, there is a difference between that truly deep, devoted, forsake all others love and the love where you just enjoy being with someone but not to the point where you would die for them, where you honor the words "for better or worse, till death do we part". I am finally realizing that my love for her was much deeper than hers for me. I was good to her and she enjoyed that. But her love for me just wasn't that passionate, your number one kind of love. I have finally accepted this. So, only when both people share this kind of passion for one another can the issues be confronted and resolved. I feel better because it wasn't my fault. I was/am willing to work on the issues and I have done that, albeit alone. But it was not worth the effort to her because she didn't share the same feelings for me. It wasn't anybody's fault, it just is what it is.

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