11.11.2004

My daughter...

I thought this would be a good time to talk about my daughter. A few years go she had some "issues" about how life was supposed to be and how to respect others. I, along with her mother, sent her to a hospital in an effort to learn how to deal with her issues. She was diagnosed as ADD and ADHD. She spent some time away, while I was in South Dakota. She eventually was released to her mother, but it was too early. Her mother was able to have her sent to a ranch for troubled youths. Most of these youths had no parents or parents that did not care about them at all. I had put my faith and trust in Jess's mother. Jess really took to the ranch and her attitude improved dramatically. She was released into my custody this past August, and while she struggles with schoolwork she has continued to improve her attitude and trustworthiness. She is responsible, does her chores when asked (does them halfass sometimes) and stays on time. She complained that she lost track of time so her Grandmother bought her a watch. She is always within 10 minutes of the time she has been told to be home. She attends church regularly including Wednesday bible study and has a downright cheerful attitude. She struggled her first month at school to find her place among the different cliques and there were some diagreements with other kids, but I wonder if the drugs she was taking had something to do with that since I took her off of them she has only improved more. I get onto her all of the time, but she is beginning to understand it is because I am teaching her about life, not because I am being mean. Now I don't want to be accused of sugar coating this because she is my daughter and I am disappointed she is not putting more effort into her schoolwork. But compared to how she acted 2 years ago, she is doing so well. Shoot, she climbs into bed by 8:30 each evening. I can't get her to stay up and watch tv with me. Around my home it's lights out by 9:00 pm.

Now for the latest on the car...

I called the insurance company this afternoon and they confirmed that the vehicle has been totaled out. Only they did not have a final payoff amount. So I have no idea what I am going to be driving in a few days. I was told to call back in 48 hours if I have not hear from them, except that would put me into Saturday and the are closed Saturday's. So she told me to call back tomorrow evening if I have not heard from them. I will post a picture of the damage soon.
I have been watching "Without a Trace", the weekly show where the FBI goes looking for a missing person who apparently has vanished into thin air. Tonight's episode is a continuation of last weeks. It is about a single mother struggling to survive, working at the "Everymart", a knockoff of Walmart. She lives in a tiny apartment in one of those pay-by-the-week motels. They showed a shot of her laying on the floor next to her son, coloring in a coloring book and laughing. I relate to that. Jess and I live in a one bedroom apartment, not alot of room and yet we are happy. We just don't let the conditions get in the way of our lives. She knows I do the best I can and she also knows it will not always be like this. She believes in me. I will never, ever again allow anyone, not her mother, my parents, or anyone else to come between her and me. I would rather be alone than allow that to happen ever again. I made that mistake too many times. At the time I made those choices I beleived I was making the right one but there is only one right one and that is to be there with her every step of the way, being what I am, a Dad. I finally have learned that it is not enough to set an example, to be a provider. I have to be a teacher, and a realsitic one at that. I have accepted that she will never be a straight A student. I now focus on teaching her how to get through life, how to be a good employee. She may never get higher than a grocery bagger, but I will teach her how to be the best one there is. I will teach her to be responsible, for her actions and for her self respect. How to be on time, do a good job, and how to get along with others. I will show her to see the bigger picture, that there is an end to the means. She is already figuring it out and I can only keep my fingers crossed.

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