Texan as a Second Language

1. AS WELCOME AS A SKUNK AT A LAWN PARTY.

Self-explanatory

2. TIGHTER THAN BARK ON A TREE.

Not very generous

3. BIG HAT, NO CATTLE.

All talk and no action

4. WE'VE HOWDIED BUT WE AIN'T SHOOK YET.

We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.

5. HE THINKS THE SUN CAME UP JUST TO HEAR HIM CROW.

He has a pretty high opinion of himself.

6. IT'S SO DRY THE TREES ARE BRIBIN' THE DOGS.

We really could use a little rain around here.

7. JUST BECAUSE A CHICKEN HAS WINGS DOESN'T MEAN IT CAN FLY.

Appearances can be deceptive.

8. THIS AIN'T MY FIRST RODEO.

I've been around awhile.

9. HE LOOKS LIKE THE DOG'S BEEN KEEPIN' HIM UNDER THE PORCH.

Not the most handsome of men.

This would be me!

10. THEY ATE SUPPER BEFORE THEY SAID GRACE.

Slept together before marriage.

11. TIME TO PAINT YOUR BUTT WHITE AND RUN WITH THE ANTELOPE.

Stop arguing and do as you're told.

12. AS FULL OF WIND AS A CORN-EATING HORSE.

Rather prone to boasting.

13. YOU CAN PUT YOUR BOOTS IN THE OVEN BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM BISCUITS.

You can say whatever you want about something, but doesn't change what it is.

14. WE'RE IN TALL COTTON.

Things are going well