Why I am the way I am....

That is what I am trying to figure out now. Why I think the way I do, say the things I say, act the way I act. It is a tough question, and I just don't seem to be finding the answers. I feel like I am a pretty normal guy, I want some things out of life, I try to do good things, and yet, it seems I am so different. But then I read about other peoples lives and their triumphs and failures, and I feel I am just like everyone else. I hurt, I love, I feel joy at the touch of another, but for some reason, I say stupid things and do stupid things. When will it end? When will I learn to just accept that I am not going to get all the things in life that I want? I do not know if I even want to accept that. When I am down, I just want to give up, make it all go away somehow, but then, just when I am at my lowest, something good happens and renews my hope for not only my future, but the future of eveyone. Only right now I don't know if that good thing has happened yet or if it is still out there, waiting for me to discover it.