Dr. Phil is da man!!!...

"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" I have always been a fan of Dr. Phil, so yesterday I purchased his first book (Life Strategies) and I wish I had known about it and bought it long ago. I am only about 1/5th the way into the book and I already recognize many things I wish I had known, and some things I have already been writing about here. I don't know where my life is going to go, but I can guarantee you it will be much better (i.e., happier) than it has. I will be entering quotes taken from the book here, both as a reminder for me and to help anyone that might wander across this blog.

"OUR WORLD HAS FOR TOO LONG CONDITIONED US NOT TO MAKE WAVES. WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE A SCENE OR DISRUPT THE FLOW OF THINGS. AS A RESUSLT, WE SETTLE, QUIETLY, MUCH TOO OFTEN. IF A PROBLEM IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, THEN THAT'S ENOUGH; THAT QUALIFIES IT AS WORTH. IT'S IMPORTANT, BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPORTANT."

THIS IS HOW I FELT ABOUT MY ISSUES CONCERNING LAURA AND THE CAR AND HER ROOM AND TREATMENT OF TAM AND I. I FELT THAT MY ISSUES WERE NOT IMPORTANT TO TAM AND THAT BECAME THE REAL ISSUE BETWEEN US.

....FIXATED ON WHY IT SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING, RATHER THAN DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT IT WAS.

I HAVE BEEN GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WHAT WENT WRONG AND HOW TO "FIX" IT, RATHER THAN JUST ACCEPTING AND DEALING WITH THE FACT SHE CHANGED AND NO LONGER WANTED TO BE WITH ME.

PROBLEMS AND CHALLENGES ALMOST NEVER RESOLVE THEMSELVES; THEY DON'T GET BETTER WITH INATTENTION.

AGAIN, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING. TAM RAN AWAY FROM LIFE, AND IT COST ME. I CANNOT RUN FROM WHAT HAS HAPPENED, I CANNOT "HIDE" IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER. IT HAS TO BE DEALT WITH.

FORGET ABOUT BEING RIGHT OR WINNING THE ARGUMENT ABOUT WHO IS RIGHT.

THIS WAS THE LESSON I LEARNED TOO LATE. I WAS GIVING UP ON WINNING THE FIGHT WITH TAM, BUT IT WAS TOO LATE FOR HER TO SEE THAT.

...THERE ARE TIMES IN LIFE WHEN YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO MISS A GOOD CHANCE TO SHUT UP.

THIS HAS BEEN A CONTINUAL PROBLEM OF MINE, I JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP AND LET THINGS GO. I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR THE PAST SEVERAL MONHTS AND AM GETTING MUCH BETTER AT IT.

WHEN YOU SET OUT TO FIND THE CAUSES TO YOUR PROBLEMS IN OTHER PEOPLE, YOU'LL NEVER FIND THEM, BECAUSE THEY AREN'T THERE. THEY'RE IN YOU.

THIS HAS BEEN A VERY HARD AND PAINFUL LESSON I HAVE LEARNED. I HAVE LOST SO MUCH THAT I HAVE LOVED SO MANY TIMES BECAUSE I NEVER TOO THE PROVERBIAL "BULL BY THE HORNS" AND HANDLED THINGS MYSELF. I LET THINGS FESTER UNTIL OTHERS THOUGHT IT WAS TOO LATE TO FIX AND IT BROKE ME.