Paulie, Paulie! Get over Tammy, for crying out loud! I know "your" Tam and I know her boyfriend J. better, and I can guarantee you she's not mooning over you all the time like you obviously are. Get ON WITH YOUR LIFE!! I'm a little older than you, a little younger than Tammy, but one thing I've definitely learned in my life is that the notion of one soulmate for each person is romantic bull-crap. If you met Tammy, you can meet someone else. This time maybe someone who actually likes your obsessiveness and smothering. 'Cuz there are ALOT of women out there who go for that. I don't know if you want an update on Tammy or not, but here's a little bit...she's getting over her cancer pretty well, so far no recurrence. She lost her hair and was pretty darned sick with the chemo, but her hair's back and she's okay. She still has alot of problems with bowel incontinence...keeps her pretty close to home which is annoying for her, but hopefully that will get better. She's working and she and J. are raising his 5 year old son who adores her. Her diabetes is okay and her weight is about the same. I found your talk of her fear of heights funny 'cuz J. has a much worse phobia of heights and I've seen her try to talk HIM into taking chances on high things! Anyway, they're doing okay and moving on which is WHAT YOU SHOULD DO, BUCKO! :) Get out into the public! Take some classes or seminars. Go to meetings. MEET PEOPLE! Life is too damned short to mope and obsess about what COULD have been. Obviously, it wasn't what you thought it was to start with, so work on brand new things! Good luck! We'll be watching you! KikiIt has been brought to my attention that I should "move on" with my life because someone I love has done the same. Because of this person's cruelty I have decided to turn off the comments to my journal. I don't know if I will continue this journal or if I will just start a new one. I know, it is my doing because I am the one that allowed them in the first place. I made this public and then allowed the comments as a way of interacting with the world concerning my life. Sort of a giant group of friends that I could communicate with on anything and everything. And I have enjoyed the back and forth comments with a couple of people. I will let them know where they can continue with me if they choose to. But to have someone make a cruel statement, real or not, is unforgivable. Their post was unwelcome and unasked for. It was not for them to say what they said. I have moved on with my life. Some people take years (plural) to put someone they love in their past. There is no right or wrong way or amount of time. It is what it is. Good for her if she has someone and she is happy. This was not about her, never was. It was/is about me and how I feel. How I have learned that being with someone is not the end all/be all of life. As long as I have feelings for her, I have no desire to meet someone else. I am just not interested. So, keep your comments and yourself out of my life. It is a big world, surely you can find some other way to make yourself feel good without hurting others. I don't know you and I don't want to know you. And you surely don't know me or you would not have made the statements you did. You have absolutely no clue who I am or what I am about.
I was haveing a really good morning when I came home to this: