Why I took so long? I don't know but...

Amazon.com rules! I had bought a cd off of amazon several months ago because I could not find it anywhere around here but that was it. Then last month I bought a movie, a used on. The Day After Tomorrow. Now I have bought the 2nd and 3rd Matrix movies. Total cost for both: $15. I was a fan of Netflix, but for some reason my mindset has changed and I want to own them, to build a collection. When it is large enough, I will always have something to watch. We buy cd's and listen to songs over and over, why not movies?
Well, I may still be held accountable for that mistake I made at work but I discovered today most of it isn't my fault. What is my fault is not getting the documents sent on time. What is not is that half of the needed documents in each file was not there, never provided by the techs and advisors. So even if I had sent them on time they would have, in all probability, been charged back anyways. I discovered this as I remade the copies and sent them again because I should have received some kind of response by this time. Life goes on. This company has enough issues that I am the least of their worries.
I went to Garden Ridge today as they had advertised large rugs for $18, but I ended up buying one for $24. It was larger and much nicer with alot of colors. The rug is the first step in the redeorating of my apartment. Mom and Dad gave Jess a computer for Christmas and I have to purchase a router before I will set it up. I want to move my puter table but needed a rug to cover the ethernet cable. So I will spend the weekend rearranging the apartment and then start shopping online for the router I want. Then the girl can im with her friends all she wants and I can still read my news and write about my "exciting" life!


Cracker man....

I like crackers. I have always liked them but lately I have started eating them as a bigger part of my dietary intake. I have them for my mid-day snack, with cream cheese. And I have them with dinner, usually by spreading something on top of them or with cheese and meat. I just like them and they also make eating a simpler function. I can sit at my puter while watching tv and eat at a slow pace which is supposed to be good for me too.
I am worried. For the past year or so, every 2-3 weeks I get this immense and intense pain in my chest right about where my arteries and my heart converge. This pain is strong that I can barely stand it and it lasts as long as 15 minutes or so. The pain progresses up my neck and into my jawbone and through my back to my shoulder blades. I did a bit if reading on webmd.com today and these are classic symptoms of heart disease or an impending heart attack. But it is also brought on by stress, of which I have had more than my share of this year. I will be working to reduce my stress in the coming months, one item at a time. I have attempted to apply problem solving thought process into just what I need to do to achieve this and I am going forward with it. I hope my time is not up yet as I have much to do before I go. But if it is, then I go with the knowledge that the Lord is waiting for me.
I have a new friend. She is a fellow blogger and I just want to say I think she is a very good writer. Blogging is different things for different people but it truly is a way for average working people who also happen to have writing talent to be discovered. So many people have talent but not the resources to get noticed. It is a fascinating time we live in now. Blogging has given us a first hand account of the horrible disaster going on from the tsunami. We are able to learn first hand how others live, love, and survive. We can read about someone from a different land and yet we will be able to identify with them because they experience the same emotions we do. We can learn how others react to situations encountered in every day life and possibly learn a new way of dealing with lifes "opportunities".



This was such a good day! I cannot relate in words just how much love was shared today between my parents, myself and Jessica. Sister was a pain and we just as happy to see her leave the room since she really made a point about not wanting to be a part of it. But other than that it was great! Jess cleaned up, but then she was the only person anyone cared about giving too. I had not been with her the past two hollidays and I truly learned how much I missed her. I got the Star Wars boxed set from Mom and Dad I had wanted, but I had not even paid attention about receiving gifts. All I could think about was giving to her as I don't have too many more hollidays with her as a child. She is growing up so fast and I am so suprised at her good attitude. She has her moments when she drives me crazy but what I preach to her I feel is getting through. Ever since I learned to back off a bit and be more supporting instead of demanding she is so much more responsive to what I say. I do wish I could have been like this in the past, but I cannot change the past only go forward with what I have learned. All I can say is right now Jess and I are so happy. Jess has this simplified copy of the New Testament and I have been reading it quite alot lately, small bits here and there and I am learning alot about how to ask God for the things I need and what I need to do. I truly beleive He will provide for me what I need when I need it. I also believe that not everything that happens is His will, that sometimes His plans are upset. My example is the old man on the roof during the flood that lets 3 boats pass because he believes God will save him only to find out from God that the boats were sent by God to save him. God had a plan for this man but those plans were changed because the old man could not recognize when God had sent him what he needed. You can believe in God all you want and pray as hard as you can but you must not be blind to what is going on around you or you will miss when your prayer has been answered. My van is proof of that.


What a slow day....

Work took forever! We were busy up until about 1pm and then it was dead the rest of the day. We were allowed to close at 6pm (Whoopee, one hour early!) and sure enough at 5pm someone came in for work on their car. A guy needed his remotes reprogrammed so at least we made a couple of bucks. I had some work I could have done but with it being Christmas eve no one was motivated to do anything at all. So I chatted, walked around, checked internet for the Cassini-Huygens probe seperation, chatted some more and along the way managed to book a few repair orders. But I did get in my 45 hours for the week so I am happy about that as I will get my regular check plus my holliday pay. I will use the holliday pay the next two weeks to get my savings going for Ryan's therapy. That will cost me anywheres from $550-$990 depending on how many sessions the therapist feels he needs for our reintroduction. Jess learned a tough lesson tonight. The red-hair dyed punk boy she had for a boyfriend called her up just to say "Merry Christmas Bitch". I want to beat his punk ass so bad, but I don't want to go to jail for busting up a 16yr old. She already has a new boyfriend and from what I gather, I will like him a whole lot better. But I have made sure she understands it isn't pierced earings or dyed hair, or even smoking that I am concerned with. It is drugs and respect. Drugs are bad, she has seen what they have done to her mother and I really odn't think that is going to be a problem. But respect, I have been really reinforcing to her he has to respect her and along with that me. Because disrespecting me would be disrespcting her also. I talked with my boss the other day about similiar situations and he told me a story. He married his wife at age 18, and the have been married 40+ years. He did not get along with his father in law, never did. But his father told him to never forget that the man is his wifes father and he is to show him respect for her. She is finally getting the message that there is a difference between likeing someone and respecting them. I was not very good at teaching this in the past and it cost me dearly. But I am learning from my mistakes, learning to use a different way to teach than I did in the past. I have learned what I feel was my biggest thing holding me back. My expectations for myself were very high and I expected others to meet my expectations. When they didn't I felt they let me down. I have learned better and now I do better. I am so much more at peace. I owe to the three P's. Prayer to God, Perserverence toward not giving up, and Priorities, getting them in proper order. Tomorrow is Christmas day, and to take a page from a friend, the past year has been quite a growth experience for me. I came back home with $200 in my pocket and a boat load of shattered dreams. In the ensuing weeks and months I found work with my old boss, created a budget that worked for me and has allowed me to not only pay bills early but save some too, bring my daughter home and celebrate this Christmas with a feeling I have not had in quite a while. I said a year ago when I had realized it had been seven years since my troubles had started that this was the end of the seven year of tribulation for me. This is a year of transition and it is going in such a positive direction. I am in such a good place and it is only going to get better. Faith in the Lord has really changed me and daily I read a bit of scripture in a continuing effort to right my ship. Dr. Phil said in his book "No matter how right you think you are, if it isn't working you must change" and I have done that and continue to do that. A year later and I feel I have emerged from a fog of ignorance to clear air.

A friend suggested I do this so here goes...

For Christmas I want: 1) A Nikon digital camera with a 35-70mm lens and a 100-300mm lens. 2) A laptop, top of the line P4 with built in wi-fi and a DVD burner, oh, and an extra battery for it also. 3) A lifetime subsription to all of the digital photo magazines. 4) A complete set of lamps for my photo shoots. This just about sums up what I want this year, but give me a week and I will get started on next year as well!


Only in Texas...

Mid-60's yesterday, 30 and snow today, 20 in the morning tomorrow and then back up into the 60's on Sunday! How much more weird can it get?


According to Gretchen Wilson, country singer, I am a redneck. Her definition is "a redneck is someone that is not worried about what they don't have instead of worrying about having what they don't have". If that is what I am called, because that is who I am, then fine with me.
What a perfect day I had! Everything I did turned out perfect! I went to the store to buy Jess's main gift, and it was on sale $15 cheaper than it had been. Bought it, plus some clothes, makeup, and perfume for her. Took my laptop I bought this past week to this little pc sales and repair shop I know about and had them install windows 98 on it. Worked perfect and they even through in office 97 also. Spent the afternoon watching football, Cowboys lost :(, and then went to Frye's after picking up the laptop. Spent the whole afternoon with Dad and had such a good time with him. I treasure each moment I have with my parents as I just don't how long I will have them around. Maybe 20 years, maybe 2 days, no one knows. There are several days from my past spent with certain people that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world, those days were just so perfect. This was one of those kinds of days.


Another anniversary...

Today was the one year anniversary of my employment. So much has happened in the past year, most of it good. I have accomplished my goals I had set out for myself and now I turn my attention to the next set of items on my list. If next year is anything like this past year it is going to be a good year so I will just keep doing what I have been doing. Tomorrow I will be spending the day Christmas shopping. I got my vacation check yesterday (the company pays you for your vacation in the month of your anniversary) and it was more than I had anticipated it would be so I will be saving some of it back for the future. It is going to be a fun day! that's all for now, later...


I want one of these....!!

Read about it.

From my mom.....thanks mom!!

A nun, really needing to go to the bathroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and dancing, but every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time after the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender and asked, May I please use the restroom?" The bartender nervously replied, "I really don't think you should." "Why not?" the nun asked. "Well, there is a life-size statue of a naked man in there, and his most private parts are covered only by a fig leaf." "Nonsense," said the nun, "I'll just look the other way." So the bartender showed the nun the door at the top of the stairs and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes she came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again. However, they only stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She walked up to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?" Well, because now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. "Would you like a drink?" But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "You see, " laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on that statue is lifted up, the lights go out in the whole place. Now, how about that drink?"


P is for Pure
A is for Alert
U is for Unusual
L is for Lucky

Answer's...to Selena Darkwalks

Asked of me by Selena Darkwalk (A) First, recommend to me: 1. a movie: Ocean's Twelve (currently in theaters and very good) I saw Ocean's Eleven and really enjoyed so yes, I think I will like this one too. 2. a book: Tuesdays with Morrie by Rich Albom This I have no idea who he is or what it is about but I will take your word for it and look for it at my local bookstore. 3. a musical artist, song, or album: Toni Braxton (I was very surprised to find I love her music). I have hear her on the radio and I agree with this one wholeheartedly. (B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted this week--great time for strangers to say hi. 1) What would you do if the world were square instead of round? I would go to the very edge and peak over just to see what was on the other side. 2) If you could go anywhere in the world, or not of this world, for one day only, where would it be and why? If you mean, without regard to how I got there, I would travel to where time bagan, the big bang, just to see how it all started. Is that the moment God created the Earth? 3) What is the most embarrassing thing you did as a kid? When I was about 16 or 17 I developed a crush on this blonde girl that worked at the grocery store we shopped at. The districts were weird. I went to school 23 miles away but there was a school 13 miles away and the store was 10 miles. I lived in the the country. This girl was a cashier at the store and one day I worked up enough nerve (I have never been nor will I ever be very good at talking to women that I don't know) to leave her a note at her checkout aisle. A few days later I was there for my mother and the girl walked up and asked me if my name was Paul. I said yes and I realized she now knew who had left the note and I felt all the eyes of her co-workers gazing upon me. I felt they were all laughing at me (maybe they were or maybe the weren't) and I never spoke to her again.


I stole this from Aimee, who stole it from Celti, who stole it from Inanna, who stole it from Ang, whole stole it from Fresc, who stole it from someone at Intellectual Poison. (A) First, recommend to me: 1. a movie 2. a book 3. a musical artist, song, or album (B) Ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. Answers will be posted this week--great time for strangers to say hi. (C) Then go back to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me. After I answer this, I hope to have found my camera cord and I will regale you with photos of my new sewing room, my child's 4th birthday (this Saturday) and other irrelevant stuff.


Life's little pleasures....

I have discovered a little pleasure. I have always enjoyed a cup of hot apple cider during the colder months. A few weeks ago while shopping with Jess we were in the coffee/tea aisle when I saw a box of tea bags for just $1 so I purchased it. The idea of a cup of hot tea sounded good. The other day I fixed me a cup, with two sugars and it was ok but something was missing. I thought about it and it hit me, lemon juice! So, today I bought some and just had two really great cups of hot lemon tea. Inexpensive, simple to make and wonderfully delicious. That is the kind of life pleasure I like. I find it better than hot apple cider, although I have a feeling that combining the two will be really great also.

Arrested Development - TV Series - TV Tome

Arrested Development - TV Series - TV Tome It is just too weird watching Jason Bateman as a father! I am getting way too old!


Made my bread, it came out great for a quick pan bread and watched an old movie (1942) titled "A Yank in Libya". I bought this DVD from Walmart for $5.50 that has 8 different old war movies on it. But they are not movies about battles with soldiers. This one, for example, was about an American reporter in Libya trying to uncover a story about a Nazi selling arms to a tribe of Arabs in an attempt to break their treaty with the English. I have developed a desire to watch these old movies because there no special effects involved. The acting may not be great but sometimes it is fun just to see how it was then, a simpler time in many ways. I don't know, I just like it.


I don't know why but lately I have had a strong desire for some fresh baked bread. This is going to sound weird and I can't explain it but not for bread machine or regular loafs of bread. I want to make small portions of pan bread in my cast iron skillet. I want it hot and drizzled with honey. I have never been much of an eater of honey but I just have this strong desire to have it. So yesterday and today I gathered some simple recipes off of the internet (the 2nd biggest invention after the wheel) and bought some flour, sugar, and baking powder. I did hold off on the honey as it was far more expensive than I imagined. So I will go with my second favorite topping, butter. Sometimes you just have to live a little, even if it is just breaking some bread.
"We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know."--W.H. Aulden
I believe this.
"The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath."--Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
And I am just reaching this point in life!


"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."--chinese proverb
I am glad I finally woke up because forever is a long time!



I am becoming bored with blogging. My life is what it is and it isn't going to change much in the forseeable future. I have decided I have a good life and no matter what comes my way I will find a way to deal with it. There just isn't much to say anymore. So I guess when something does come along that is worth remembering I will post it. Could be tomorrow as in the next few days I will find out if my mistake at work is fixed or if it will cost me my job. We shall see.