Stress. It will be my undoing. Yesterday was a day filled with it. First, I have people at work coming at me from all directions wanting things done that I just don't have time to do. Then I get a text message from Tammi saying she has pneumonia. So I call her and she is just beside herself in tears. She cannot get hold of her daughter and she feels she is going to die without having a chance to speak to her. I left early so I could spend some time with her and when I arrived she was in the physical therapy room working on her leg strength. The nurses said this was good for her and will aid in overcoming her latest illness. Once we reuturned to her room she let it all out, which I think was for the best but she is really struggling mentally. Overall we had a good evening. But that did not last for me as when I got home my daughter called. She and her grandfather were having an argument and while I believe there is much validity to his side, he just cannot handle things that way. I warned both of them of my worries about her living there with her grandparents and it did not take long for them to come true. Yelling did not work for my sister and I and it will not work for my daughter. She is more calm today and feels she has been hired for a job so maybe that will be the end of that. I am working on coaching her on how to handle people. I wished I had had someone to do that for me when I was young but maybe that is my purpose righ now, to teach her what I am learning. I am trying to be an open person not afraid to learn different ways and if I can teach her that, I will have accomplished something. Even though I feel a failure as a father, I do think there will always be an opportunity to change that and ultimately succeed. The final verdict over whether I succeed or fail cannot be decided until my life is over. Each day carries with it a new opportunity to reverse a past failure. Only time will tell on that.
On another front, I am so far behind the curve on time management but I am learning how to do that also. As I right this I am sitting in a lobby of a building waiting to see a medicaid counselor. I recently discovered the benefit if using the “hibernate” function on my laptop instead of fully shutting it down as it restarts very quickly whenever I do that. So, while I wait for my appointment I am getting some blogging in. Later I will upload to google tools and then publish to my blog. Really cool. I rarely watch tv, instead doing other things and saving tv for the weekends. I have decided that I would rather spend a weekend watching a box set of some tv series than one hour a week. I know that means a current series will be a year or more old when I do finally watch it, but it really cool to see it from start to finish in 3 days or less. I think I will subscribe to a Netflix account this week. I just finished seasons one and two of Battlestar Galactica and it really is the way to go.