A different kind of pain...

The other day I was remembering how much it hurt the day I left Rapid city, the agony of leaving Tam behind. It reminded me that I cannot know how bad it will hurt when the Lord takes her from for good. Last night we were talking about why she is being punished by this illness, that she knows some people back home that have done some bad things, sex with their children and such. Why is she being punished when they are healthy. I told her two things. One, they will have to face a higher judgement than what we can give them and two, that we must remain faithful that she is not being punished. I told her instead feeling punished, know that her pain and suffering is there to somehow, someway help someone else. I believe that God's plan is so large and complicated that we cannot possibly know what our roles are but the role to be played is still there. I know in my heart that someone will do something good because of this. Maybe her case will be studied 20 years from now and a cure for osteomylitis will be found or someone will be inspired by her story and go on to greater things. I don't know and will not try to predict I just will maintain the faith that this will come about. To believe anything less is to give up.

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