I recieved my first mail addressed to me at my new apartment. Of course they were only bills, but still, it is just another reminder of all that I had been without for the past 9 months. I finally recieved the paperwork from Dawn's lawyer. He is trying to have me pay for past medical bills that she never sent to me. It states in our decree that she has 30 days to get the invoices/receipts to me; otherwise I do not have to pay them. Even if I am incorrect on that (and I don't think I am) it really casts her in a bad light by her sitting on those bills for as long as 14 months before submitting them. I have 15 days to pay them once I recieve them so I feel that if they want to haul me into court it will look bad on her for sitting on them for so long. I have made it very easy for her to communicate with me and she is the one that refuses. All she has to do is send me an email or a phone call to let me know that she is taking him to the doctor. I will be more than happy then to send my half. Most of these are co-pays for the doctor or for medicine. She has had my address, both in RC and here, so there is no excuse for her not sending them. Again, to hold them and then try to recoup the costs on such short notice once again shows her mentality and coldness.
Changed the oil and did a trans service on the car today. My car has a couple of problems, one of which is when you are accelerating and the throttle is in one certain position the car misses and spits and sputters. I have learned how to either acclerate more slowly or mash on it and get moving more quickly. Somehow my trans service has made the problem worse. It needed the service as the fluid was quite dark but I surely did not expect this problem to get worse. I really did not think it was transmission related, but rather a fuel delivery problem. I will get it into the shop once this counseling thing with my son is over and I have paid a few other bills off.
Speaking of counseling, now the place where Jess has been wants me to continue with some sort of counseling for her. More money. I work hard, but because I was immature, I did not go to college (one semester does not count) therefore when you add my child support for Ryan into the equation, there is not much money left over for such things. I made alot more before but I had to work 12 hours days to do it and that is part of what led to Jess's issues. Dawn has always resented that I did not work 2 jobs, but what she does not know is that I worked the equivalent of 2 jobs to make enough money to afford my truck and my house. I want less now so that I can have more time for Jess and Ryan. There is only so much one person can do in life.
Have not heard from Bethany this week. I may have scared her, pissed her off, or something else I don't even know about. I did send her a text message from my cell to hers, but again I did not get a response so I don't know. I saw a truck today in the complex like Tam's. It gave me a jump to see it, plus brought back memories. These two women are going to haunt me for a long time if I have to go without them. I love them both, for different reasons, I tried to be good to both of them, and yet I have neither of them. Maybe this is just the wrong time of life for me to be close to someone. But it does get lonely to not have someone to talk to, to tell my day about, to just hold me when I have had a rough day. But I will keep going, I have 2 kids that need me in their lives.