Bethany...Part II

Bethany came by again last night. She and the guy she has been seeing had an argument and she needed someone to talk to. I think they are on the verge of breaking up (if you could call what they have been doing being together). I would never want to be the reason two people split up, but at the same time if one of them was someone I cared about and wanted to pursue a relationship with, I wouldn't be broken up about it either. She came over and sat in the chair by my front door. I rolled my desk chair over and sat in front of her. as she played with her keys and talked to me about what had happened and what she was feeling, I put my hands on her legs (she was wearing shorts) and gently stroked them. It felt good. Really good. I very much wanted to console her for what she is going through, but part of me also wanted her to tell me she did not want to be alone tonight (last night). She made no attempt to pull away, to stop me from gently touching her legs or holding her hands in mine. And so I didn't stop. What I would love to do is take her hand in mine, hold it for 30 seconds. Then I would ask her to honestly tell me it did not feel good to be held by someone she knows cares about her. Someone that will make time in his life for her. That is all she wants, someone to show her they care, to ease her insecurities. I am that kind of guy. She is hurting because she is trying to hang onto something that was not even there to start with. When something that she started with me 6 years ago is still right there in front of her. She is afraid of alot of things and 6 years ago I was not mature or strong enough to understand that and deal with it. But I am now. I grew as a person because of Tam and what she did, but that does not mean it was FOR Tam. I will not play games with Bethany or anyone else, but I will be here, standing by her hoping she figures out that what she really wants is closer to her than she thinks.

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