Perplexed....

Is that a word? I think it is. It describes my emotional state right now. I am perplexed because there is so much that I do not know and I should know, need to know. I need to know when I should stand up for myself regarding my feelings towards certain issues in my marriage and when I should just let things be. I felt like I was completely disrespected before and it wore on me as more and more time went by. But yet, is not my wife's health and mental well being more important right now than my own feelings? I think so but yet I just cannot go through what I previously did go through the last time her mother came to live with us. I need my wife to stand up for my feelings and at the same time I need to put her needs above my own. Where the middle ground on all this is I do not know but I will keep searching for it.