This evening I watched the movie "The Constant Gardner" and I have to say it moved me. I knew it was highly recommended but I really had no idea what it was about. At first it seemed to move slowly and truth be told it never did speed up but then that is not the kind of movie it was. The sadness of a tragic love story set within the tragedy of human greed causing human suffering was really brought to life by the two main characters. I thought Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz did a wonderful job of showing their love for each other while keeping their passion for what was happening to them. Of course I was not expecting the ending but in retrospect I think it was fitting. I could feel his love for her just as I feel my love for my wife. With my wifes illness there have been many times I have wondered how I would react if she were to be taken from me.
Speaking of the pain of love I have come to the conclusion that losing someone is too painful to bear and that all the people around me right now that I love is all I am going to have. I cannot bear the thought of suffering the pain of loss if I was to lose my wife or children. Parents are hard too but for there to be a me there had to be a them. So that part I had no choice in but if I had to do it all over again I am not sure I would ever have gotten married and had children. It seems the more you do with them, the more you love them, the more it hurts when you lose them. I hurt enough over so much I cannot control I do not wish to hurt over anything that I can control. I love the ones I have but I will not have anymore of anyone to love as I can only take so much.