News....and not really good

Spoke with the surgeon yesterday. Seems we were mistaken, at least according to him as he does not plan to perform surgery on Tammi's right knee. Our mistake. We distinctly remember him telling us he was going to first do the hip and then the knee but apparently now if he does the knee he would have to amputate her leg. So here we go again with the runaround and doublespeak. I know he is one of the best in the world at what he does but I am tired of his attitude. He does not want to work on Tam anymore and wishes we would just go away. And that is what we are going to do, go away. I am going to bring her home and take care of her myself. She is not going to get better, she is not getting better. This last surgery was to relieve her pain and that is what it has done but it is not going to make her better. She is still weak, cannot control her arms very well and her pain in the other parts of her body is still present. Walking is no longer an option as she cannot place weight on her right leg until the knee is fixed and as I said the knee is not going to be fixed. She performs her exercises but she is still losing strength in her arms and shoulders. Her wrist remains extremely painful and unusable for all but the smallest tasks. What do we do now? Where do we go? I am prepared to do what I have to do to make her life as easy as it can be but how long will she hold together? How long before the drugs she has to take for pain and suppression of the infection take their toll on the rest of her body? What about her mind, how long before she has problems with that. My parents always told me there was someone out there for me, and they were right. But why does she have to be taken from me so soon?