1.13.2005

Realizations and a perfect day...

Today. Today was one of those days I wish would never end. Nothing special happened. But it was just so relaxing. At Walmart I found a couple of treasures. They had these small decanters with a Coke emblem on them for 50 cents. Had to have them. Then I saw these ice cream bowls, they are set on a pedestal, for a dollar. Got two of them also. I thought they would work great for Jello also which I have been making lately for an evening treat. I finally have come to a couple of conclusions. One is that while I may not be the most attractive guy out there I am attractive to some women. I mean, I have been married three times and had a few girlfriends in between. So it is not my appearance that will keep me from having a relationship. So it has to be my attitude or personality that holds me back, that is my contribution to the demise of my past relationships. It has made me feel better to figure this out because while I cannot do a whole lot about my apprearance, I can do alot about my attitude. Which is what I have been doing this past 15 months. I ended up in a certain situation and I needed to know how I got there, what was my part in it all. And I have. Also, I have finally healed enough to return to some parts of my last life. I really loved my life and how I lived each day. Yes, I wish I had done some things differenty but those things were based upon my interaction with other people. What I am talking about now is the simple things of daily living. Cooking, keeping a tidy, neat home. Finding new little treasures for my home. Having a treat before bed. I may be able to enjoy these things by myself, but that is fine. It occurred to me today people find it fascinating to read about how people lived far in the past. From 50 years to 5000 years ago. Those were simple people just living day to day doing the best they could. Which is what I am doing now. So who is to say that 200 years from now a historian and society in general won't find my writings here interesting. A simple guy trying to make his way through life.

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