I want to preface this entry with the following statement. I understand and accept that my marriage is over and has been over for more than a year. I just continue to write about my feelings on this subject as this is a major turning point in my life. This is not just a situation where I am moving from one relationship to another. I will turn 40 in 3 months and my daughter is just a few years away from being on her own. So this past year has not been about "moving on", but rather about what I need to do to completely change the course of my life. I have no interest in pursuing a new relationship at this time. I have finally reached the point where I can think of something Tam and I did together and I remember it as a good thing instead of something that causes nothing but pain and anguish. Now I can put those memories into words and read them from time to time, allowing a smile to play across my lips as I do.
Cookies. Tam would make me cookies almost every night. I never was much for sweets such as cookies and cakes but she made them anyways. She made them, I believe, as a way of saying thank you for the things I had done for her. Her job was alot harder than mine and she made more money than I did so I tried to make up for it by cooking dinner, doing the laundry, shopping and anything else I could do in an attempt to make her life easier. We would be relaxing, watching tv and she would get up and leave the room. I would hear some rumaging going on in our kitchen and about 15 minutes later I would smell this warm, delicious smell emanating from the kitchen and I knew what was going to be coming my way soon. I miss the cookies.