Anger and Pain....or is it

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." Pain and anger? Which comes first? For me it was pain and then anger. The source of my pain caused me anger, and in turn my anger caused me to want to cause pain. Because if I am angry, and I cause pain, then I am able to hide my pain. I do not want to be angry or in pain anymore. When is enough enough? When can a person just be themselves and not have to suffer pain, and then get angry? And why does my anger, which was caused by pain, have to cause more pain because I got angry? I do not have anwers to these questions, but answers are what I am seeking and in desperate need of. I cannot erase the memories I have, they do not go away, and every time I remember, I feel pain at what was and is no more, and then I get angry because this pain is senseless and was not needed. And that is when I get sad, which causes pain, which leads to anger and it starts all over again. This is a terrible cycle and I am sorry, but time does not always heal all wounds, they are with me every moment of every day. And they will be for as long as I live. And that hurts.