Yesterday I purchased the parts needed to repair my gas grill. I had not used it in over a year and a half, since I had moved to South Dakota. I cooked some pork ribs yesterday, while today I did hamburgers, boudain sausage, and chicken. As usual, it all came out really good. But with all of this the memories have returned also. One of the things Tam loved so much was my grilling. And I loved doing it for her. Hearing her tell me how much she loved my chicken or pork ribs was something that me feel, well feel as if I was someone special. Mom and Dad tell me how good it is, but it is just not the same thing. It will be a very long time before I am really over her.
I sent an email to Dawn today. I told her I had sent a letter and that I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that she had not responded because she did not get my letter. I know she may resist this but she cannot keep me away from Ryan forever. I am not going away this time. I want to be a part of his life and he part of mine and I will not give up. I hope she will come around and work with me as I am trying to work with her to make this as smooth as possible.
Didn't make it in to work today, or to the grocery store either. Changed the oil in the Kia and Mirage for Dad, plus changed the transmission fluid in the Mirage also. Took a couple of hours and alot of sweat. But the job is done. Because my life is not what it was going to be, I have come up with what I hope will be a weekly thing. I want to go to church on Sunday's with Jess, then we will come over to Mom and Dad's and I will do some chores (mow, change oil, etc.) and then grill for the afternoon. I want to grill enough for both them and us to take home. All the good stuff, sausage, chicken, pork steaks and some vegetables. Mom and Dad love Jess so much and it will mean alot to them to see her when they can. She is getting older and will be doing so many other things (work, friends, school activities) that her time to see them will be getting shorter and shorter. I think a few hours each Sunday will not be too much to ask of her. When she gets a job she will just have to make it clear that she cannot work on Sundays before the evening time. I think I may have that changed to not work on Sunday's period. I feel she will want to become quite involved with her church and Sunday's and Wednesday's will be dedicated to church activities. That leaves plenty of time for work. I really don't think it will be in her best interest to work more than 15 hours a week anyways. She needs to concentrate on school. I have made it clear that the grades have to be maintained (b's) if she wants to have a job. She is learning about sacrifice and choices. To work means to have less time with her friends. I can't wait for her to come home.