11.12.2004

Consequences and other things...

Well, I came home this evening after a hard week at work wanting to just sit down and relax. I am going tomorrow but just for a few hours. Jess was off for her retreat but when she returns she is going to have some answering to do. One of my pet peeves is people not rinsing off dishes before they put them in the sink. I do the disher around here but I expect people to help out. So she will get to do the dishes for the next week. We have a dishwasher but I only use it for a dishrack. We don't dirty up alot of dishes at a time and half of those are plastic which tend to melt and/or flop around. It just isn't worth the time and effort to use the dishwasher. So I do them each morning before I leave for work. Jess knows how I feel about this so she will suffer a consequence. Speaking of that, 4 weeks ago I had to spend $20 dollars replacing her athletic shorts and her agenda. So, for the past 4 weeks she has only recieved $5 per week for her allowance instead of her regular $10. She took it in stride and has been looking forward to the increase in funds without complaing or asking for extra, except for asking if I would pay for the dinner at her Wednesday night bible study (they charge $3 to help cover expenses) which was fine.
On a different note I have given up. I cannot explain what it is that I do wrong in life. I try to do my best, make decisions that I beleive are best for everyone involved, do my job, pick up the slack when others are out and yet I still get labeled the bad guy. I just don't get it. I was told to leave, yet I am the bad guy? I have nothing to do with the incident at work and yet when a person returns they are angry with me because I didn't do all of their job? Hello, I have my own job to do which is an extremely busy and involved position. The first 7 months there I did not feel I earned my money because the work was so easy for me. But since I have become the warranty administrator, even with my raise, I EARN my money. I give up. I quit. I have learned the extremely hard way that it is impossible to please everyone. I have written at length about that so I will not go there at this time.
For most of my life I was a person without faith. I had to know this or that, I had to be in control of my life. But that has all changed. I survived up and moving to South Dakota. I survived returning to Texas with literally nothing but the clothes on my back, a camera, and $200. I am a survivor and I have learned how to have faith. Faith in God, and in turn because of Him, faith in myself. The one thing I have always done, and have been doubted because of it, is strive to better myself. Not monetarily so much, but as a person, a human being. I am proud of that. I learned today that the lady who told me my car was going to be totaled out may have jumped the gun. I called back and was informed I am approved in the rental through the 17th but that it was not 100% approved that they were going to total out the Buick. She did tell me it "looked" as though that is what they were going to do but she could not say for sure. What I am getting at here is that there is no point in fretting and worrying about what is going to happen. I have faith that it will work out. Either the Buick will be fixed or it will be replaced. She told me I would get the rental for a few days more after we settle so that I have time to purchase a replacement. No need to stress out, it will work out. Things always seem to when you beleive.

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