The truth.

My daughter got a dose of reality the other day. Her mother was passing through town and stopped to see her for a couple hours. Later when I talked to Jess she told me her mom was a "crackhead", she was just skin and bone and not looking very good. Jess is pretty much done with her. I have tried over the years to make sure they had a relationship but not anymore, Jess is old enough to make a decision about when and for how long she wants to see her. Jess has come a long way and is doing so well as compared to where she was a couple of years ago. She isn't perfect, she has her moments when she needs some scolding. What I am most proud of right now is the fact that when she does go outside the boundaries, she accepts the consequences without an argument. A week ago she left the kitchen a mess when she left for the weekend on her church retreat. So she had to do dishes for the week. She accepted it and did it. Well, it's gone. The Buick was finally picked up today, one of the last links I had to my previous life. In a way I was sad to see it go. Not only because of what it reprented of my past, but also because it had been a good car for me. Moving up in vehicles is a metaphor for what I have been accomplishing this past year. I still am not out of the woods as to my mistake but I will just keep working hard and praying to GOD even harder even harder. I sent my response to Dawn's lawyer today. I am so tired of battling people, especially over silly little bs things. Speaking of battling things, Jess's mom sent a message to me through Jess that I can pick up my truck anytime I want to. Only things is I have to trailer it from Arkansas so it won't be soon when I go to get it. One thing at a time. I am now discovering all the bad points to my new van. Really, there isn't too much. The heater core is leaking when you run the heater, I am going to fix that this weekend. It cost's $30 for the parts and I have someone that may do it cheaply for me. A co-worker is married to a Ford technician. I can do it myself but you have to have a special tool that I don't want to have to buy just to use one time. Also, the air bag light is flashing. I counted the sequence it was flasing in, that is what determines what is causing the light to come on and my co-worker is going to have her husband look it up for me. Challenges come with all good fortune. I read about a guy in New York who had just filed for bankruptcy. He won the 147 million dollar lottery. Now of course I would accept the challenges that come with that kind of good fortune, but still there will be challenges. People will be coming out of the woodwork wanting a handout. His privacy will forever be gone. I am just pointing out that my van is such a good fortune for me but I do have some challenges, as in getting it fixed. But I will take it.

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