I never know...

When God will choose to speak to me, or how. His voice comes in so many ways and forms. This morning, after dropping the girls off at school I pushed the seek button to change channels. It stopped on the next one which happened to be a well known pastor (I recognized his voice but just can't remember his name) and he was talking about patience. As I drove back home I listened to him relate some personal experiences along with an interpretation of some chapters from the Psalms in the bible. He told me that those who do the right thing always win. I have always believed that if you "do good things, good things will happen to you". He also explained that if you are patient, God will reward you. This has strong meaning for me as I have written several times that what I pray for is strength and patience, not riches or wealth. I know in my heart, and I really don't care what anyone else thinks, that this was The Lord telling me that what I am doing and how I am going about it is the correct path. He speaks to us in so many ways but you have to keep your eyes and ears open to recognize when you are being shown the way. It is the proverbial boat coming to rescue you during a flood. I have never been a very patient person before, always rushing to accomplish whatever task is on front of me. I have come to realize I did that out of fear. Fear that I would lose my job, fear that I would lose my daughter if I didn't keep up a perfect household (especially when she was very young). I have lived in fear all of my life. Fear of being alone, of losing everything I have. I have come to realize, and this mornings message reaffirms this, that I have nothing to fear. That all I need is faith. Don't rush to finish something out of fear but instead be patient, do it right and I will succeed. Part of this mornings message was about having the patience and strength to listen to our children. So many times we tell our children what to do and don't listen to them and what they have to say. "I am your father and that is why you do it this way!". Be patient and listen to our children, give them a voice and then make a decision or have a discussion. Allow them to finish. I was not this way, only now am I learning how important this is. I have always been impatient, cut into others conversations, not allow them to finish theirs. Yes, I wish I could have learned these lessons years ago, but I choose to remain positive and be thankful I am learning them now. It is never too late to learn something new. On a similiar note I had an opportunity this morning to try to make a difference in someones life. Mandy, Jess's friend we give a ride to school each morning was looking a little down. I asked her if she had her Christmas list ready. She glumly told me that the last few Thannksgivings and Christmas's were not much fun. So I just made a quick list of many things that she should be thankful for. She is a really good kid but she seems so sad much of the time. She has difficulties with her mother, her mother had her at a very young age. From what I gather, but don't know for absolute fact is her mother sometimes struggles with being a mother of a teen when she is still young herself. Whereas I used to use a sledgehammer to try to get my point across, I now pick and choose my moments to impart a bit of wisdom. I do think I am attempting to make amends for past mistakes. This is all I have ever tried to do with people around me, I just was not very good at it. The more I was tuned out the more frustrated I became so the harder I pressed and it always, always, blew up in my face. I do think I have alot to offer, but I did not know how. I will not say that I do now, but I do think I am better prepared for this. Lastly, today is the day I am supposed to find out about my car. So hopefully I will spend tomorrow looking for a vehicle to replace the buick.

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