"If my life is going really well and I have no one to share and appreciate it with, is it really going so well?"Second observation
Each day at lunch I read a book and today I came across something in it that made me stop and think for a moment. The guy was in a predicament (I won't go into those details) and he thought about something from his past. When he had been younger he had been attempting to join a gang. One day after coming home from another of many "initiation" beatings, bruised and in pain, he realized they didn't want him in the gang. He was just something to amuse themselves with and expend excess energy on. How does that fit in with me? I have come to realize that the female part of our society just doesn't want me. I am something to amuse themselves with for a time but not thought of seriously as a lifemate. I know I am sounding like poor pity me, but this is not so much of a pouting statement as it is a statement of fact, an acceptance of how things really are. I have friends, male and female, but that is where it stops. Just how I feel at this moment. Subject to change at anytime.