4.16.2004

"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" Ok, I lied, I would give almost anything for her to show up on my doorstep right now and want to start over again with me. I just don't see it happening and therefore I just want to get this divorce over with so I can move forward. I don't like being married to her while she is living with another. I know she was married to alton for six months after we had gotten together but I am not alton and I had not treated her badly when she ended our marriage. I just want this to go away. If we are not to be together I need it to end so I can move forward. How she can be married to me but be with someone else and treat it as though I don't exist I just don't understand. I would have thought her "boyfriend" would have stepped up to the plate and paid for a divorce. I mean it only costs a couple of hundred dollars to do it yourself. Or she would have borrowed the money from her daughter. I mean Laura would probably be very happy to pay for it and not have to ever worry about me again. If she does not want to be with me why would she want to drag this out so long? What is to be gained by keeping this going? I just don't get what is going on here.

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