"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" All I want to know is "When will it all end?". I am so ready to get on with life. After all this time I still miss her, I still hurt so bad. I will not hold it in. It is what I feel and there is nothing to be gained by pretending I do not have these feelings. I have them and I will let them out. She told me awhile back, "I just felt like you were not moving on" or something to that effect. Well, I am moving on, but we all "move on" at a different pace. Mine takes awhile. I feel she is not aware of just how deep my feelings for her are. This is something that takes alot of time to recover from. I know I am a deeper person than most people out there. I am moving on, it just takes alot of time. I will be ok, I will just be alone for quite some time. I wonder about the future sometimes, try to imagine life with someone new, different. but each time I allow myself to do that, all I get back is the feeling that I would wish that person to be her. Until I can imagine a new relationship without feeling like someone new would be 2nd place to her, then I know in my heart I am not ready to meet someone new. 6 months is not really a very long time. The marriage counselor I saw 7 years ago told me you are supposed to take 2 years off from dating after a breakup/divorce. I think that is sound advice. I don't think it is wise to become involved with someone new while you are still in love with someone. And if she could fall in love that quicly with another then she truly did not love me and that takes awhile to get over also. It means that last 2+ years was a lie and I don't like being lied to. I also feel that she feels bad about things, so bad that she lies just to try to make things better but it doesn't. I am not some bubba from a hick town that see's things with a small narrow vision. I am a deep, emotional person that has the ability to look within himself and see for himself who he is. If she could have done that we could have worked this out. I love her and miss her. have to go to work now.

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