2.04.2004

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." Tuesday, February 03, 2004 12:10 PM You may be wondering why I keep trying, why I hold out hope for us. I can't explain it, but I just can't walk away from you and what we shared together. I truly believe that we were/are meant to be together. That how we interracted and the happiness we brought to each other is not something that just "happens" with any two people. I can't explain it and I surely don't understand it, all I do know is that I have no interest in being with anyone but you. The way you make me laugh, that is why I married you, for other reasons, but that was what put it over the top. I have never before, and I have not since I left, laughed the way you make me laugh. I miss that. I miss your smile, you have such a wonderful smile. The way your eyes lite up whenever you see me. All of these things, and so much more, is why I do not, can not, give up hope. I am like a prizefighter who goes into the fight knowing he will win. He knows he might lose, but he believes he will win. There is no doubt in his mind, no other option. So it is with my belief that we will be together again. I want to show you what it means to be committed to and supportive of a person when you love them unconditionally. I don't care if you have been with another man, you were the one that said last time that you no longer wanted the life we had, therefore we were free to do whatever we wanted. So I chose to support you and remain your husband. If you felt you needed the comfort of another man, maybe that is what you needed to see what we had is not so easy to replace. It is one thing to live as man and wife and one of them sleep with another, it is another thing to say it is over and then do it. Once you said what you said, you freed us to do as we wished. I made my choice and you have made whatever choices you did. I am not saying I am encouraging you to be with another man, but that if that is what you wanted at the time you did it, if you did it, and then you came to the conclusion that what we had was a pretty good thing, we could overcome it. I am not going to say it wouldn't hurt, I am saying we could overcome it. If 2 people truly love each other unconditionally, even if they do things that can hurt the other, once they both realize they were meant to be together, then together they can overcome anything. That is why I say it is unconditional love. I do not choose to love you, I just love you, as naturally as I breathe air. We can survive this, and be stronger than ever. You just have to believe.

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