1.14.2004

It's Wonderful!!...

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." That is life, and my new camera!! HaHa!! The camera is soooo coool! I am can't wait for the weekend to get here! Bethany called last night, wanted to update me on what is happening with her guy. Seems he lied to her about working late. They seem to have worked things out and agreed to take it slow. Both of them have been burned before. She asked me why it seems all the good guys have been messed up by women before she meet them. I told her it is because when us good guys meet a woman, they have been messed up before us by some bad guy. It is a vicious cycle that only gets broken when both sides are patient and lets go of their past so the recognize the good thing they have. I am covinced of this so much. I had Dawn before Bethany or Tammi and she made me feel so insecure. Tammi had Alton, and he made her so insecure. Bethany had Gary and Jason, and they messed her up. I am proud of Bethany, she is not doing the easy thing and telling the dude to buzz off. And I am proud of myself. Whether Tam ever realizes it or not, I am breaking the cycle for her and me. I am strong and I am standing by her, supporting her in her decision. Whether it ever creates a situation where her and I can work things out, I don't know. But I am doing my part. I have grown up and I have lost my insecurities. I am strong. If Tam wants a divorce and never wants to see me, I will support that and will go on. If she wants to work it out, I support that too, it is what I do want. But most of all, I am in a good place right now. I have friends, I have job, I have a hobby I love. I have much to be happy about. Maybe someday Tam will want to share in my happiness again. Perhaps not. But I will always love her.

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