"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" I thought of a reason for possibly Tam's stage of life right now. While I would never, ever wish an illness on anyone, especially someone as sweet and good-hearted as Tammi, I also knew that sometime, somewhere in her life something would happen that she could not run from. And her cancer is something that she must face, she cannot run from it, she has to confront it and take it on, overcome it. I hope she comes out healthy, happy, and with a newfound ability to not be afraid, that she will know she has the strength inside her to face issues in life and deal with them. Sunday Dad asked me if I believed in God. I told him yes I do. He stated it was meant to be about the Buick, it was destiny for me to have it. He said this because if it had not been stolen in Feb 03, he would have discovered how difficult it was for him to get in and out of it and he proabably would have sold it. But it did get stolen, it quit running, and it took until I returned before it was finally fixed. And now I am buying it. Just another example of how God helps those that help themselves. Speaking of helping, I once again put my money where my mouth is. Sunday I was about to leave for the store to purchase license tags for the Buick when I asked Mother, "is this the insurance card I need?", to which she said yes, but it has expired. That is when she realized she had let the insurance lapse. She had understood that the insurance rep had told her not to pay it, he would get her some new insurance. It was a misunderstanding. Long story short, they did not have the $284 needed to get the new insurance going so I paid half and I told sister she needed to pay half. She did not argue that point, but when I was about to leave to go to the bank to transfer my part, I told her I needed a check (she has the money in her account) from her, she said "later", but I told her no, I needed it now, we needed to get it into the bank. I am not trying to be a "hero" or make it like I am "perfect", no, I am just trying to say what I believe. They let me live her, they feed me (I buy my own breakfast and lunch), allow me to use their electricity and water. It is only right to step up and take care of them when I can. Did I wake up yesterday wanting to shell out an extra $142? No of course not. I put a deposit down on an apartment yesterday. It is about 15 minutes from here in Arlington. The girl honored my internet quoted price of $409/month for a 1 bedroom. I know the saying goes, don't commit to the first deal you get, but sometimes you just have to act when a good deal comes along. not only do I get the good price, but it comes with a washer/dryer and it is bigger than most of the apartments in that price range. I committed to a July 1st move-in date, but I can move in earlier if I want to. I don't think my finances will allow that, but I am now committing all my resources to paying off the bills neccessary for me to live on my own. It has a fireplace (which I don't think I will be needing) a large walk-in closet, a large patio with storage (where I can keep my bikes) and both the bedroom and living room have doors that open to the patio. I was drawn to this one because it also has access to the bathroom from the bedroom and the kitchen, which will be good if Jess is here with me as each of us would be able to go to the bathroom without disturbing the other. The bedroom is plenty large enough for all of my furniture (if I ever am able to get up there to retrieve it!) so I am going to build a "divider" out of hollow-core doors and put a bed for me in the living room. The living room/dining room area is plenty big enough to do this, and on the other side of the divider I will put the tv/vcr etc stuff, and have a sofa facing it. Because of the design of the apartment, there is even an area to put a 4 - 6 foot table for the computer. It is perfect for my needs and that is why I jumped on it. The DFW area is hurting in apartment rentals so they may not even check credit and that is also why they have a $10 deposit. I just hope that my credit is not so bad that they turn me down. I need this apartment.

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