3.26.2004

Starting over...

"Live today to it's fullest, for tomorrow may never come" No, not in a new relationship. I mean starting over in life. Completely. From day 1. I am 39, but I am going to be as I was when I was 19, only older, with more knowledge and maturity. I work with a guy named Jeremy. He is 24, married and has a baby less than a year old. He owns a home, drives a cool car and is fixing to purchase a new Titan truck. He is where I should have been 15 years ago. But I made certain choices. I got involved with a female way too young for me. I made a choice to be with her and therefore have a single income. We had a daughter and I chose to raise her. Again, a single income for 2 people. I worked hard, missed out on alot with her, and I chose to give everything up to try to have some happiness starting over with someone else. It all ended. I know it will not be totally as if I was 19 again. I still have my daughter to help raise (and of course who I love and miss so much). I have some bills that need tending to. but in spirit, I am starting over. I am going to do what I should have done 20 years ago. Start out slow and take small steps towards achieving a level of comfort that I can be content with. I have done things so wrong because I had not idea of how to do them. I may be 20 years behind where I should be, but I am strong in my faith and belief that it is better late than never to change course and try a new way, keeping in mind the road already traveled.

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