The beginning of....

the anniversarys. Things that Tam and I had done together last year. Tomorrow is one such event. One year ago tomorrow we braved 105 degree heat and huge crowds to attend the fourth of july celebration at Mt. Rushmore (the mountain with the faces of the presidents for those that are not up on our National Monuments). Because of her pulled calf, I did all the carrying of gear from the car to the amphitheater. It was after about the 4th or 5th trip that I was really wearing out. She said something and I snapped at her just a bit. Nothing worth arguing about, but it was the first time I had ever snapped at her. I guess it was the beginning of the end. I am here to once again apologize to her. I hurt to this day for that. We never did have an argument, before or after that. I hope she makes it out to the mountain for the celebration, although we had talked that we would not do it again the next year (which is now this year! confused? me too!). What I wouldn't give to be there now at that mountain with her, in the blazing sun. We saw people that had portable umbrellas that attached to their chairs, and we knew we had to get that for ourselves. Now I only have memories of what, except for that brief moment in the height of the heat and my exhaustion, was another wonderful highlight of my life. It was not what I was doing, it was who I was with. I know I sound like some heartbroken wimp that should get over it, but for anyone that reads this, if you have been or are truly with the one you want to spend the remainder of your days with, then you will understand just how much this hurts. Next year will be easier, but for now these are all firsts for me without her. I will get over it, but not just yet, less than a year is too short of a time for me to be past it.

No comments: