Once again I am humbled at the Lord's power to show me the way. Today I finished book six of the Left Behind series. I am half way through the series. The meaning of that is this the month of June, the sixth month, half way through the year. The year that I had proclaimed as my "starting over" year. The year I correct all my decisions that did not work out as I had planned, by using the knowledge and wisdom I have gained in my life up to this point. Coincidence? I don't think so. I beleive everything happens for a reason and is timed to happen when it happens for a purpose and reason. Say what you will, we are given the right of freedom of thought and expression, but this is what I believe.
Today has gone well. I feel much better, both physically and mentally. I am looking forward to the next 2 days as I hope to get quite a bit of work done around the house. With the rain we got this past week, everything is overdue and overgrown. My tasks await me. Hopefully I am getting past this funk I have been in the last few weeks. I am hoping to get some fun shots of the dogs for Jess.
Well, made the switch back to the old wallet. I do like it better, and so what if it reminds me of her? After trying to move past her for so many months I have decided to quit denying what I feel. Maybe time has allowed me to allow myself to feel these feelings, to remember just how good it was because burying good memories is a waste. She told me she felt as though she had wasted the last 2 years of my life when in reality there is no way it could be a waste since it was the happiest 2 years of my life. It would be a waste to bury them. I rejoice in my memories, knowing that for a time I was loved so much. There are those that live a long life and never feel the kind of love I felt from her. Yes, it hurts to know I am not loved anymore that way, but that is all the more reason to remember it, cherish it. I may end up alone for the remainder of my life, but I can always think of my time spent with her and know that for a while, I was the most important person in someones life, that I mattered to them. That is more than some people ever get to experience.
This evening went pretty good. Got home and went straight outside. I had been needing to chip up the limbs I had pruned 3 weeks ago. I had been told at work that it was supposed to rain tomorrow (more rain!) so I really wanted to get this done. Finished in about an hour then mowed the back yard as it was really thick and high and if it did rain it would be a small jungle by the time it dried out again. So my chores for the weekend are done and tomorrow I plan on uploading photos and commenting on my msn photography group. Rest is what I need. It has been a rough couple of weeks. But I am another week closer to reaching my goals. It is what keeps me going forward, focus on what I want to achieve. That is something I never could do. Develop a goal and work to see it through. I have just muddled along, doing just good enough to get by, not sacrificing as much as I should have so that I could have a little more in other areas. I see things so much clearer now, even moreso than when I first returned to Texas last October. It has been a tough road, but the cliche has meaning, "better late than never."
On another note, I found out this evening my Uncle Andy (see photo below) got married today. He was supposed to in August and I was to be his photographer but they just decided to do it now. They will hold a "reception" in August for all to attend so I will still get to shoot some shots for them.