6.16.2004

Today's events....

Today started off like any other day. But that all changed shortly after I arrived at work. I was served with papers to appear in court 2 weeks from tomorrow. They were sent by my son's mother. I have been attempting to contact her to start my visitation once again (I have not seen him in 6 years). At first, when I came around the corner and saw a man was about to serve me, I thought it would be from Tam for a divorce. But to my surprise and delight, it was about seeing Ryan. She wants to have it set up with a counselor and stair stepped to work up to full visitation, which is what I have been trying to do all along. Most people are mature enough to just communicate and work out the details amongst themselves. But this is how she is and I understand that now. It has taken me a long time to figure that one out. I made my choice 6 years ago because she is so difficult to deal with and at the time I did not want to put him through a life of us being at odds with each other. But now, because of many factors in my life, I am more mature and understanding. I know how she is, and knowing how a person acts and reacts is the key to being able to deal with them. I have to keep my cool and stay calm with her or she will use it against me. Therefore, and I am in no way trying to make her look bad, but if I do everything in an appropiate manner, she will be the one that comes out as the antagonist. All I want is to see my son, to work with her so that I can attend his functions. I want to impart what knowledge I can to him, to help him in some way become a good person, even if it means dealing with her, which it does. If I become confrontational, she will only use it to drive a wedge between us before we even get started. I have learned (and posted here several times) that once you accept something as fact, it is much easier to deal with it. I have accepted that she will always be in control of this and I will have to do things mostly her way. But if that is what it takes to see my son, then so be it. She has to accept the fact that I am going to see him, that I am going to be a part of his life. The sooner she accepts that as fact, the sooner her and I can hopefully communicate together. I do not want to turn him against her and I will not bad mouth her. I just want to be his father and be in his life. What a strange day, it is the anniversary of my marriage to Tam, a marriage that fell apart because of human weakness, and her I am becoming so strong that I can face anything, that I know anything can be overcome with a cool head and lots of faith.

1 comment:

Lady Charisse said...

I'm happy for you. Slowly but surely you are getting your son back.... Hey, dual custody next? Always a possibility....