6.15.2004

Yep!....

I am a really good grilling cook! Yesterday I prepared whole grilled fish with lemon pepper seasoning, and boy did it come out really good! Mom and Dad told me the almost didn't buy me that bood as they thought it would hurt my feelings. I am glad they did. They are really in for alot of treats. Next week it is shrimp on the menu. Going to try it 2 different ways, kabob style and wrapped in bacon. I just know it will turn out good.
I called Dawn last night. Got her answering machine but it was weird. A man answered saying we are not home, blah blah blah, but before that message ended, her voice came on saying "we are not at home, leave a name and number and we will call you back", and the voice was trembling. I fee she has call waiting and new who was calling and she faked it being a machine so she did not have to talk me. It beeped about 20 times and then it did come on so that I could leave a message. I got a small bit in and then it cut off. She can ignore me all she wants but I have the right to see my son. I made a choice 5 years ago, but times change, people change, and I am going to be in his life now. I can't afford to take her to court, but yet I will find a way if that is what it comes to. I hope she is more mature than that. She has a memory span of about 2 days and she even admitted she has memory loss so I will just have to perservere.
Talked with Jess yesterday for family counseling. I told her from the start she is coming to live with me when she gets out (she has a hearing in August! I am so excited). She asked why she couldn't with her mother. I said she has to live with someone and I had decided it would be with me. She said ok, I have to live somehweres. We had a really good meeting with the counselor. She really is doing well and I have high hopes for her when she gets home. This time we concentrated on how we would share chores, about communication. We talked about how she gets off subject and off task very easily and that I will have work hard to keep her on subject and task. Discussed how she will have to pick and choose social time because she will have church (she wants to go 2 nights a week) and homework/study time to take care of, not to mention some easy chores (vacuuming, dusting) that must be done. I told her we will figure out the details but it will be something like 6-8pm for school work and on church nights it will be adjusted accordingly. She also wants a small part time job so that must be accounted for also. That was part of the conversation on keeping on task, because at a job, she will have to maintain that. We talked about recognizing things in oneself and that if you know you are a certain way, then you know the steps that must be taken to manage that. Knowing she has a short attention span (she has been diagnosed with slight ADS) she must focus much harder than others. I used to be that way also, still am really. But because my job requires doing 4 things at once, over the years I have learned how to maintain focus. But I still have issues with it. I will do something at my desk and as soon as I am finished I have to get up and walk around. I just cannot sit still for very long. I have always been this way. It is why I enjoy watching movies at home. Because I "need" to do more than one thing at a time I am able to watch a movie and surf, post, edit photos. I know alot of people can do that, but for me it is more than just a want, it is a have to. I just cannot sit still for very long and do one thing. I need my attention to divert often from the main task. It is how I am and looking back, how I have been since I was a kid. She is that way too.

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