Forgiveness....

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." Can I fogive? Sure. Do I want to forgive? Absolutely! Today I went to the dam, the one Tam and I went to on our first date and took some pictures and walked awhile. I think it was my way of forgiving her. I cannot stay angry any longer. I still have my moments of hurt and pain, but for the most part they are gone. I am dealing with the here and now, not the past. If she ever becomes part of my present again, I will deal with it then. I miss her, but I no longer am consumed by my grief. I am moving forward. I have spent the last 4-5 days being angry with her for what she has done, but I realize, just as always, there is something to be taken from this. I have narrowed everything down to our ending was because of a lack of communicaton. Without that communication, there could be no compromise and negotiation. Now I will never understand just why she had to take the drastic step of ending our marriage instead of just working with me or just saying it was a short seperation, she just needed some time. But she did. I now choose to not be angry any longer. It is time, because the longer I stay angry, the longer it will take me to move on. I will not lie about it, I want to be a part of someones life. If Tam is truly no longer interested in a life with me, then what I do and who I do it with should be of no interest to her. I am in her past, no longer part of her life. I am doing the same because I do not want to go for months or years carrying pain, anger, and depression around with me. Life is too short to do that for very long. I had a good time this morning and it has proven to me that it is time to forgive her. I wish her well, and if she ever needs me, I will be there to help her the best I can.