12.11.2003

A quote from a comic strip, but yet so much truth in it...

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." "There's opportunity in every obstacle. One chapter ends and another begins. You could be doing her (in my case, him) a favor." As much as I love Tam, and want to reconcile, to work out our marriage, possibly she is doing me a favor. No, she did do me a favor, as I have learned about CNC. If only she could see that I have done what she thought not possible, that some people can grow and learn. That their love for another is strong enough they will do whatever it takes to improve themselves. Quite possibly, there is something more out there for me, something that I have yet to realize. At this moment, I cannot understand how something could be more wonderful than spending my life with her, but I also must remain ever hopeful of what may just lie around the bend in the road. Until the time comes when I have been able to put her in the past, if that is to be my fate, I will remain hopeful. I have read many posts in the groups where the one in Tam's shoes (the one doing the sending away) have returned much later, 6 months, a year after the breakup. I do not want to have false hope, and even if she were to contact me at this moment and still tell me she longer wants the life we had, no longer wants to be with me, she nor anyone else can say how they will feel in the future. Just as there was a time when she could not see being without me, I know there may be a time when she again wants to be with me. All through recorded history, people have done things that they have looked back upon and wished they had not done. Some go back and try to reclaim that which they gave away, others, whether due to pride or guilt, do not. I will forever remain hopeful that if that time should come to her, she will not let those negative emotions stand in her way of contacting me. You can never know the outcome of something if you do not take action. I am aware that my writings here may be just fanciful wishes for something that I want, but I will keep wishing, sometimes wishes do come true. Sometimes they do not. My wish to meet somone like Tam came true once upon a time, possibly my wish to meet her again will come true again.

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