weak moments...

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." I am having a weak moment right now. I am trying to say goodbye to tammi but i am finding it so hard to do that. right now, i am writing this and shedding many tears. i love her so much. i do not think she truly realizes what it means to be loved by someone the way i love her. i am so confused. i want to feel the comfort of someone, but i want it to be tammi, yet if it is not going to be her, and she has given me absoluely no indication she has changed her mind, then i would like to meet someone. that does not mean i have to fall in love with them, i just would like to go on a picnic or watch a movie with someone. I wish it was with tam. as hard as i try to put her behind me, all i keep seeing is visions of her. seeing her sitting at the picnic table at the lake, or feeding the geese, or walking with me in the store, or sitting on the sofa as i bring her a plate of food i have cooked for her. i cannot get away from these visions and feelings. the harder i try, the more they stay. i have changed my profiles on yahoo and msn, in an attempt to convince myself i have moved forward. i shall never be over her, i will just learn to deal with my loss.

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