Over and over I have been...

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." Replaying what or how things could have been done differently. This is what I think should have happened regarding Laura and her car. Tam and I should have sat down together, discussed the issue and this is the kind of solution that should have come about. When Laura informed us she wanted to try to fix the car herself instead of putting it into the shop, Tam and I should have agreed to a set amount of time for Laura to get it done, and if it was not done by the end of that time, THEN she could put the car in the shop. So if we had told her this on July 31st, we could have set something like have it fixed by September 30th or then it goes to the shop. That would have been compromise, negotiation, and communication. But no, I could not approach the situation like this, and Tam was not able to do it either, so we end up losing a wonderful relationship. What bothers me more is her not working with me to discover this part of it. Tam not believing in me enough that I wanted her badly enough to grow as a human. Alton never wanted her, she was just someone he could manipulate and control. Once he could no longer do that, he moved on. I am not into that kind of crap, I just wanted to be believed in. I guess Tam just could not bring herself to do that. I believe in me, and because I do, and because I am stubborn enough to prove her wrong, I have learned alot. I learned the issues boiled down to a lack of communicatin, negotiation, and compromise. With those 3 things, anything else can be overcome. Without them, any and all relationships are doomed to failure sooner or later. I communicated my feelings about Laura and how she was handling certain things badly. I communicated my support for Tammi with her new diet badly. Tam in turn communicated her feelings about how I regarded Laura badly. She communicated her hurt feelings about the new diet badly. I love her, of course I supported her to the best of my ability. Had I known more about how she felt, I would have done, to the best of my ability, more to make her feel supported. Why would I not do everything in my power to make my marriage work? I love her enough to want to spend my life with her. This one will forever puzzle me, it isn't her and I having a disagreement about issues, it is her giving up without a fight. Sometimes we just don't get a 2nd chance in life to make things right.