New Beginnings!!

"Do whatever it takes to be happy, for it is hard to know what life will bring you." Well, it finally happened! I have a job! Tuesday was a good day. First, I received and email from Tina that she will be coming here this weekend and would like to visit. Second, I received a Christmas card from someone I have not seen in more than 4 years. Third, I received a phone call from Citifinancial, but the reasone that is good, is I can get caught up with them for only $34, so that bill will not get any further behind. And then of course the fourth thing was Bruce calling me and telling me I had the job. On Wednesday, he called to tell me I was all set for orientation on Thursday morning. Orientation was only about an hour long, and then I went to work. Bruce was in meetings all day so I just worked with Kris, she is the warranty clerk, getting my feet wet with the terminology and the procedures. This job is going to be easy, as there are 3 people doing the same job I used to do by myself. Book some tickets, talk to some customers, handle some paperwork. Compared to all I had to do at Bankston, this will be a breeze. I am not going to let on the rest of the staff all that I know how to do. Bruce of course knows what I am capable of, but I do not want to step on any toes or make anyone uncomfortable with my presence. I just want to go to work, do my job, and then come home. My schedule will most likely be 10-7 Tues-Fri and 9-5 on Saturday. While I wish it was not every Saturday, I will have Sun & Mon off every week,so that will be pretty good too. I know at some point down the road, Bruce will make me salary and I will earn more money and work more hours but we gotta do what we gotta do. I still have not received any money from Steve for the washer and dryer. I am beginning to think he has no intention of paying for them and I will just have to write it off as another lesson in life. I really figured he would have sent me $20 or so by now, I told him anything would be ok right now. I would like to believe he is not the type of person to just keep them and not pay for them, that him and Tam are better than that. But what else can I believe when I have not even had an email from him in more than a month. Oh well, if some money shows up, it does, and if not, it doesn't. I will just have been reminded that people are not always what the seem to be. Right now I am just so happy to be working. I work close to Grand Prairie (15 min drive), I make enough to get my bills paid and to eventually get my own place, even with Dawn getting her cut for child support, and it is doing something that I know how to do, without having to kill myself. I had held off seeking this out because I did not want to go back to all that stress, but at least for the time being, this will be a walk in the park. Cried over Tam last night, this was a joyous day for me and I had no one to share it with. I mean, I have mom and dad, but that is not what I meant. The postcard was from Bethany, I mean that was out of know wheres! Wrote her a quick note saying hi, good to hear from her, call me if she would like to go out for a cup of coffee. Don't know if she will or not, but there is the invitation if she wants to. Tam, I just don't know about her. I understand why this all happened and my only wish now is for her to come to grips with things, let go of her past (alton), and move forward. With or without me, if she does not do those things, she will never truly be happy, regardless of what she thinks or believes. It is easy to ignore that which you don't want to deal with, but it won't go away. By sending me away, she did not have to deal with the guilt of staying with Alton all those years and therefore Laura having the personality that she does, the attitudes. But as long as she does not deal with that guilt, and resolve it, get rid of it, it will be there and she will forever have problems concerning it. I only wish I had realized just how bad it was affecting her and I could have taken a different approach to how I communicated my feelings. But I can no longer have regrets about this, because the one thing that I did try to do and she did not, is work it out. express these feelings, discuss how they were affecting us, and find a solution. There was the difference I guess, I loved her enough to want to find an answer, she did not love me enough to want to find an answer. and that hurts.

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